Well, I have read all my surro buddies blogs and it has been so amazing to read each one!! Some brought tears of joy and some broughe moments of happiness to see growth of cute babies and others moving forward.
We have been busy as always with family and friends. Each weekend is something and nothing shy of being tired on Monday morning for work...hehe. We are at our usual cross road where we have decisions to make regarding surrogacy. I know we are gonna try again, when...we dont really know...with the same surrogate...not sure...but we do know the we love working with SI!! We hope this 3rd time is the charm and cant wait to share stories like the rest of u all...
We have been looking into trying again but maybe some of you can help us....how many of of you guys tried with the same surrogate or tired with a different one on your 2nd + attempts?? Please advise, on using the same or should we try a new one?? any advice would be great help!!!! i've tried to research it but no luck.
From Australia Our IVF Babies
1 year ago
7 comments:
gee... i know exactly how you feel. we too are at that crossroad now after have a positive but very low beta only to loose the baby before the 3rd week. it's devastating.
so, scared as i am, we are going to try yet again (we have 4 frozen embryos so basically we have no choice. i am not going to just let my babies go without a fight).
anyway, there is no doubt in my mind that i want to try a different surrogate. i've got to find the right mix. i try to feel with my heart, not my gut, definitely not my mind as i'm too scared to try and test myself to see if i'm feeling like its going to work or no i feel like its going to fail. i just try to listen to my own heart beat and pray it will resonate and at the right moment, the right surrogate will appear and so will my baby(ies). best wishes. keep blogging.
p.s. i think its going to work for the both of us
Hi Mandy.
Dr Yash suggested that we select another surrogate for our third attempt, and one with a "less tired uterus" (for real!!) as our girl was around 30 years old - which is considered older in India due to many of them starting families so young (and perhaps doing hard work so young too? who knows).
If I was selecting a surrogate now I'd be asking the doctors to pick for me, and I'd want someone who has already delivered an IVF baby. I still believe there is a distinct difference between falling pregnant naturally and falling pregant in a lab with all the drugs etc etc. You realistically are not going to have a relationship with this girl, hence my suggestion to many now that you don't even meet her if that is an option. Which religion is something you may also wish to check as apparently that was part of the problem we had during our pregnancy - ask SI about this as I really can't remember the details now.
So happy to see you happy again!!
Lisa
I think a SM change would be a good idea - mix things up a bit so you can eliminate problems with SM, just incase that was the problem.
BUT - will you have to fly back to India to sign new contracts. Legally it's not necessary but SI has asked this in the past, not sure what they require now. If you do have to fly back, that will cost you, and even changing SM will cost another $1500 in fees (may be different now). You need to weigh up costs, as we all do.
We used an experienced surrogate and got a negative and our positive was with a brand new surrogate. I think its always a good idea to switch as that is one of the changes you actually can control and take out of the equation if that was the problem. Good Luck Sweetie! We are rooting for you!!!!
I remember these questions whirling around in my mind, too Mandy. You're not alone.
We used the same surrogate twice, then a different one, and unfortunately none of them worked (u probably remember this).
We thought a change of surrogate would help, but it didn't. I think it was our embies that were the problem.
Every case is different, but you've asked for my advice, so I'm going to give it.
I think you should use the same surro again for the last of this batch of eggs. If this doesn't work (which I really hope isn't the case), I would use a new surrogate and an egg donor.
I'm sorry if this is blunt, but I want you to be a Mommy as soon as possible, and this seems like the most practical way to get there.
I pray that your eggs work, darling. But please consider my thoughts, just in case.
Love u lots xxx
Hi Mandy,
I remember all the questions and wish I had a crystal ball.
However, the best advise I can give you is to trust you Doctors and to ask them for advice on what to do. That doesn't mean that whatever they say will guarantee a posituve result, but they are not as emotionally involved as we are and can make a sound medical decision instead of an emotional one.
All the best. xxx
Mandy,
I know you know our history and I'll send you a private email. The truth is there is no easy answer.
One question I would ask the doctor is what your surrogate's lining looked like during the last transer. Also, if they tried any transfers with her prior to yours. Another small thing to consider is that sometimes women experience secondary infertility so it might be helpful to find out if she has more than one baby.
Some studies indicate that some women may have other aspects that affect their fertility and basically their body will attack the developing fetus. It is a sort of autoimmune problem. The theory is still really controversial but I can send you several links about it if you want.
Hugs,
Amber
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