Well today is one of my LOW days. I have been pretty good since our negative news and been keeping busy. But for some reason today is HARD. I guess it sank in and it must have been in my sub-conscience, so i had a dream that a friend of mine had a baby and i wasnt happy for her, actually i was a bit angry. So i wokr up in a pissy mood. I told my hubby during breakfast adn started to cry, and he hugged me and said, babe thats not like you to not be happy for her...i just kept on balling thinking i'm a bad person for even thinking that.
Last night my BEST friend calls to see if we're going to her daughter's 1st birthday party and she was talking about how shes so fresh, she loves Dora, and all the quirks about a 1 year old...i want a daughter to tell stories to talk about too....
Ah, well another day another reason to find the silver lining...plus hubby still doesnt want a dog, and one came up again...i fell in love and he said no....i was sad but i have to move on from that now...so much moving on and no final destination...
if anyone says boo to me today, i'm most likely to ball...
From Australia Our IVF Babies
1 year ago
9 comments:
We have ALL had those dark days of feeling blue and defeated.
Let yourself breath....Let yourself grieve....Allow yourself to be angry or sad...And then, find your strength to pick up and start again.
We're thinking of you.
Mandy,
It is just plain hard to want something so badly, and not feel sad when it happens to other people. That is not being a bad person, it's being human. You are so good to your fellow bloggers, and I bet you are to the friends you see as well. Don't be so hard on yourself.
So many people are hoping and praying for you. I send hugs across the miles, and a wish that tomorrow is a better day. If it's not, oh well the next one will be. You are wonderful in my books.
We are all feeling for you Mandy. Hoping tomorrow shines new light on a dark day.
Don't beat yourself up for feeling like you do. It is simply natural to feel sad and upset and just plain angry with where you are at. But keep your hope alive....in a while you will turn a corner and feel a new energy and things will look brighter.
You are so strong to get where you are today, you have achieved so much already, hang in there, you will achieve your dream I know it.
I completely understand how you feel. Some days I feel like I'm doing fine and other days I get angry at the world or feel so depressed that I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to feel on this roller coaster journey. You guys are fighters though and as long as you don't give up you will have your baby/babies. You've already proven that you will go to the ends of the earth for a child of your own and that is an amazing feat in and of itself. I know it is going to work for you, I really believe that.
Hugs as Jojo always says. :)
Amber
Poor darling one. I completely understand your depression. It's like a blanket sometimes, and can make it really hard to cope with the day.
I adore my niece and nephew, but there have been times I've cried myself to sleep because they're not mine.
You will get there, beautiful girl.
I think you should just go out and buy yourself a puppy. Your husband loves you, he will understand.
xxx
sorry you are having a tough day, Mandy. I can totally relate. I've had a ton since my son was born. We have been on an emotional roller coaster and feel like we can't even let out a deep breath. Hang in there, I promise it will happen for you. Just believe with all you've got. When the time is right, it will happen!
Cyber Hug!! With so much love to give, there is no way you will be denied this - it will happen. I know it is hard to keep plugging away at times, but you have to because there is a little one out there in the universe that deserves all that wonderful love you have to offer!
Oh Mandy the dark days are indeed very hard to deal with. Your strength will see you through this time and as Edward said, you will pick yourself up and start again.
Hugs from Australia.
Johnny
Hope you are feeling better, Mandy. Wishing you bright and easier days ahead. Tell your hubby that a puppy does wonders for soothing the maternal cravings. Unconditional love from a pet is quite healing. Hugs to you from me.
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