Well, i must be the only one among a few people at work today...yes i am at work the day after Christmas....but its ok because my hubby is home and all snuggled in bed where i like to see him. (he cant stay home, he loves to keep himself busy...always finding something to fix, improves or maintain and he works 7 days a week...relaxing, chillin out, couch potato are not words in his vocab...lol). On our way home from NY last night (his cousin's Christmas Party) the dreaded comment came from him "we might be an inspiration to others in our family who want to have kids but cant and it might be something they can do too....(something along those lines, cant remember verbatim, i was really tired)." I said why would we be an inspiration and to who? why are we telling everyone? At that point i thought we were just telling our parents and siblings, plus a few very close relatives who see us often. My hubby says "what are we going to say when we come home with a baby one day?" I was just like "well i dont want to tell everyone my medical business." Well of course he gets upset and i say "i dont want to talk about this now." It was like 2am and we're driving home and i was already tired and had a few shots....I know i shouldnt be drinking but it was only 3.....not better or valid but i really shouldnt have. This actually brings me to another point, when people offer me a drink and actually force me what do i say? I drank before but i'm not now because i'm gonna cycle in 35 days? tell them i cant cause i'm on meds?? then that would open a can of why. I guess what i'm trying to say is that i'd rather keep my medical business to myself a a certain group of people and he would rather be open and honest. The reason being i believe based on knowing his family, a few would be very dismayed and see me differently. i'm afraid of the negative comments they might have about me and talk about me with each other (as they have done so in the past when i was dating my hubby...i wasnt pretty enough, i want for him...so on) SO i know what they are capable of and i dont think they are the ones i want to share my info with. I would keep away from them the last trimester and when they did see us with a baby, we would simply say, we had a baby.....i dont need to go into details. or do i? i am so confused...i feel this has just been the most stressful time in my life and i'm trying to have as little stress and possible (cause u always have stress, cant avoid it) to have a positive outcome. Maybe i should just stay 9 months in India and then come back...or at least stay the last trimester.....
I will sift through all this and hopefully the next post things will be sorted :) I am looking for a prosperous NEW YEAR!! Full of babies from me and my SI Forum buddies!!! 2009 here we come!!
From Australia Our IVF Babies
1 year ago
1 comment:
We have had this same conversation - What will we tell people if we get pregnant in India. I don't know what we will do, however, I do want people who we see regularly to know we used a surrogate because in the future I don't want our child to feel like I was ashamed of my choice to use a surrogate and tried to keep it a secret. We are months away from going to India, but hopefully, we will be able to keep our mouths shut and only tell a VERY select group (which will not include our parents)what we are REALLY doing in India and then break the pregnancy news at week 12!
There are many members of our family that we will not tell because we see them infrequently and the questions they will ask will be rude and intrusive. I am sure some of them will find out anyway and eventually ask the same questions but hopefully I will have a baby in my arms and the questions won't hurt so much. We have also talked a lot about questions we are will and will not answer. Preparing for the stupid questions will hopefully help!
Good luck with your decision on who and when to tell your family and friends.
Stacey
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