Today is definately a low day for me....i have been feeling low since yesterday and i cant help it. I know we have decided to move forward, but the feelings are all coming back to me. I guess since it was my first time i was extremely excited and loved every moment of planning. Now i cant think of going again because i am too scared and planning is scary for me. I feel like a loser, someone who cant carry a child and then someone who cant produce enough eggs to even do surrogacy. I cant seem to win. Then I am so happy for those who are having babies around me but i cant help but think i should have been heading back to India to pick up my baby in Nov. and getting ultrasounds and belly pics. I want it too. I know i have to keep trying but it hurts so much i cant stand it. And hubby and I discussed if it doesnt work this 2nd time we will have to put surrogacy on hold and try much later if we want. Years later!
So sad and nervous to try again. See babies all the time and its getting to me. (it NEVER did). So hard!
From Australia Our IVF Babies
1 year ago
4 comments:
Hey you, I can't say I know how you feel. But, I can say I know what you mean. Although, I have children from previous relationships, it seemed as soon as I reconnected with my husband, my menopausal symptoms begin. At times, I feel like less of a woman but I don't allow these feelings to fester and cause me heartache and worry. I focus on what God's has given me, OPTIONS. I know that if it's meant to be, IT WILL BE. It's easier said than done but worrying about it only stresses me out more. Please continue to pray and seek God for your answers. He will give you the desires of your heart.
Ahh Mandy. Its not easy and thats ok. You can only take it one day at a time and one emotion at a time. I have become very good at not seeing babies in public..somehow since our first loss in 98 I am able to not see babies...somtimes I get a glimpse and my body and mind freak out! The worst for me is after every loss we have had it seems that EVERY commercial on TV was for diapers or play toys or always included babies!!! UGGG!! If you can just deal with one emoiton at a time it may be easier.
Stay strong and think about the great option you have and what you have learned from the first go.
Kerrie
sweet one. it's ok to be down, it's only natural. and it's scary to get your hopes up again - i know how scary it is.
feel free to tell me to go to hell for being a busy body, but have you thought about ed? it's something i decided to do because i knew it would increase our chances.
course, it didn't work for us first time round either, so what do i know. but it might mean you get some more embies to play with, which will decrease the costs a great deal, especially seeing as you're using SI.
just a thought.
big hugs. xxx
xxx
Hey you guys, i have thought abouot what you said and it makes me feel soooo much better just to have your support, its such a blessing to have u guys in my life. Thanks!!
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